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Size 18

Note: I’m talking about clothing size 18, but that’s Australian size 18. See here if you don’t know the Australian sizing system.

About a month ago I said something about healthy weight loss and said I’d come back to it later.

At the time, my son had just spent five days in hospital. Between stress, my dietary restrictions (more on that below), lack of hospital canteen food that was able to cater for them, and my general unwillingness to eat while in a place that was full of contamination triggers, I actually lost about 4kg during those few days. I was eating some version of breakfast and dinner, but not much in between. I also wasn’t drinking enough, so I’m sure some of that was dehydration. During one of the hospital visits, I actually wore my size 15 jeans that hadn’t fit in about ten years — and they were relatively comfortable. I was pretty happy about it, but I knew that it wasn’t really a good thing, and that it couldn’t last.

After he returned home, I quickly gained back that weight. I’ve been hovering around my plateau weight for a while now, and have settled back into that zone.

That zone is a strange limbo-land. It’s the zone where size 18 is generally a bit too big, but size 16 is hit-and-miss. I accept that I will never be a size 10 (or maybe not even a size 12) but I can at least afford to lose more. One interesting problem is that a lot of my clothes are size 18, after so many years spent in that limbo-land and above. I squeezed into size 18 when I was in denial about needing to find bigger sizes, and now I’m clinging on to size 18 because I hate shopping, and it’s easier than trying to find something smaller.

Now it’s time to shift it without starving or stressing it off. I’m trying to get back into regular exercise. I’m trying to eat as healthily as I can (for my brain, my body, and my baby), while negotiating the tricky territory of dietary restrictions. I’m not on a weight loss diet. My breastfed baby has had some issues with foods I eat, and the most effective way to help her is to eliminate foods from my own diet to see which things affect her symptoms. I think we’re just about there — or at least close — but I hesitate to even think that, because every time I do, something tells me we’re not.

We have to be. I’m running out of ideas.

Permalink Tuesday, 4 October, 2011 5:58 pm, by Mamma Email , 421 words, Categories: Health, Food , Leave a comment »

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