Butterfly Wings

Ten years ago today, the day after Christmas, on the Feast of the Holy Family, The Man and I became husband and wife. Incidentally, a year later, on the Sunday after Christmas, the Feast of the Holy Family, our firstborn was baptised, and the saved tier of the wedding cake was shared.

We had a pretty subdued Christmas, but we make more of the Epiphany anyway, in terms of gift-giving. This year that’s a fortunate thing, as I’ve been a bit “off” this week, and I’ve needed these days to be quiet and homely. I must admit, I’ve probably tested the “in good times and in bad” thing a little this week.

So I’ve been a bit sentimental today. Ten years seems like a pretty big deal to me. I had wanted to commemorate it in some significant way, maybe a renewal of vows and/or a gathering of family and friends, but we didn’t get around to organising anything, and didn’t want to spend a lot on doing so anyway. Tonight we took the boys to Mass, combining both our anniversary and the feast day, then bought pizza on the way home. OK, so I didn’t eat raw tonight, but it was gluten free, cheese free and vegetarian. I was all set to make them all watch the video taken on our wedding day, until we realised that the VCR isn’t working - well, the sound is fine, but there’s no picture. I could have made them listen, I suppose…

So I’ve pulled out all the photo albums, the candle and the ceremony booklet. I’ve been remembering all the preparation that went into that day, the emotional discussions, the negotiations, the trying to keep everybody happy. I’m thankful that we did the whole thing on a relatively small budget, partly out of necessity, as my parents wanted to pay and didn’t have a whole lot of money to throw at it. We were blessed and honoured to have my choir travel all the way, without wanting a cent contributed to their costs, to sing for our ceremony (and a little performance at the reception too) - and the wonderful music at the reception was provided as a gift from a family friend and her duo partner. Everything else was done pretty much on the cheap, but it was all done well. I’ve never been one for pomp and ceremony, and didn’t want to change that just because of a wedding. After all, it’s just one day. I simply wanted to marry the love of my life. In the end, what is it really worth if the money is still being paid off on your tenth anniversary?

We did manage to throw in a couple of surprises. My sisters and I sang the entrance song, Bach/Gounod’s Ave Maria, and only confided in a handful of people. My younger brother had to perform his page boy duty on the day with no rehearsal, as I couldn’t trust him to see, and keep quiet about, what we had planned before the day. At the age of six, carrying the real wedding rings, he did a fantastic job. The priest and organist knew, and my other brother, as altar server, had to bring me a microphone, but everybody else, including my father, the choir, the photographer (who berated me later!) and especially the groom, were kept in the dark until I was handed the microphone at the back of the church. I sang while my younger brother and sisters walked up the aisle, and then they sang Dad and me on our way. I’m not writing this in order to brag; I’m sure many others would have done a much better job of it, but it’s still one of my favourite memories. I have to admit that I love being able to pull off surprises, especially if they’re nice ones and I can see the recipient’s reaction.

I sang again later at the reception, but I chose a bad time to do it. It was a soppy love song that I wrote especially for my new husband, and it sort of fell between my choir’s performance and the clattering of dessert dishes. It was caught on tape, and watching it makes me feel a bit sorry for the silly bride up there embarrassing herself, but the groom seemed to like it, and after all, it was for him. My sisters wrote a song for us and sang it during the speeches (a much smarter timeslot). The speeches were heartfelt and kept clean, most of my cousins were there, plenty of kids to keep each other entertained, and plenty of food to keep the guests satisfied.

Looking at the photos stirs up a mix of emotions. There are a few faces I barely know - friends of family, partners of guests; there are faces that have passed on and can only be seen now in photos and in memories. And of course, all of the faces that are still around are ten years older. Children have grown up, adults have become older adults. A few of the young adults are now married and/or have their own children. In fact, I believe one of my cousins proposed to his (now) wife on our wedding day. I grew up with celebrations that included, and welcomed, children, and our wedding would have seemed strange without them. I think our children would have enjoyed that party.

And today it’s raining, just as it did that day. It had been overcast all day, held off until after our photos in the forest, then we drove away from the reception in the rain. I should mention that the bride and groom were the very last people to leave the party. Even my parents left before us. We had a brief honeymoon, returning home in time for the non-event that was Y2K - the “millennium bug” New Year.

Looking back, there are only a few things I might conceivably change, and they’re really not major things. Ten years later, we’re still together (happily), we have two beautiful children, and we’re all loving and learning together. That day seems so long ago, yet only a memory away. I wonder what we’ll be saying about it in another ten.

Well, I didn’t realise how long it’s been since I posted here. Apparently, I started “getting serious” and seriously abandoned the blog.

We did complete the 3 day challenge mentioned in that last post - basically green smoothies for breakfast, lunch and dinner, with only a couple of snacks at other times. Some time later we did the 10 day challenge, this time not aiming for 100% smoothies, but making sure there was a substantial smoothie component each day.

I was planning to do the 24 day Christmas countdown challenge. Then I decided to just do my own version. This is usually a dangerous thing. At least when the Green Smoothie Queen is sending daily prompts and inspiration, I tell myself that I committed to something that somebody else asked me to. I seem to have trouble committing to myself. However, this past month I have stuck to a mainly-raw, mostly plant-based diet. The times that I have eaten animal protein or cooked food, I haven’t actually felt that great afterwards. I can’t say if that’s purely psychological/guilt or if my body really didn’t like what I put into it.

I admit that I wasn’t going to actually post numbers until I was under 100kg, but it’s so close, and I feel I need a little bit of inspiration, so here goes. Since March, when I started documenting this journey and riding my bike more, I have lost/released about 13kg. Since the start of October, when I really got serious about the food part, I have lost/released about 8kg (included in, not in addition to, the 13 since March), about 5 of those during December alone (mainly-raw, mostly plant-based, no coffee, almost no alcohol). I haven’t braved the summer outdoors on my bike very much, but during the past week or so I have been trying to do some serious kms on The Man’s bike - currently on a stand indoors. Okay, so I slacked off a bit during the last couple of days.

The funny thing is that, even with the extra weight, when I was riding the bike more during winter, I was becoming quite fit. Getting back on the bike this month was a bit of a shock at first. It seems ironic that now I’m trying to regain the fitness I had when I was fatter.

I didn’t quite reach my weight goal, which was “double figures” (under 100kg) by Christmas, and to still be under 100kg by New Year. In other words, I was aiming to stay in control of it during the traditional stuff-your-face time. I’m so close, and now my goal is to be at double figures by the double figure year (’10). Today is our first double-figure wedding anniversary - married ten years ago today. I like the way all those numbers work together.

On our wedding day, I was heavier than I wanted to be, but I still have a bit of work to do to get to where I was back then. This time, however, I think I’m on a better track than the starve-myself-into-the-dress mentality I had at the time.