Butterfly Wings

My homoeopath has decided that at the crux of pretty much all of my problems and unresolved issues is the deeply ingrained belief that “I am not OK”. She says that I see “I am OK” as my goal, when I should see it as my starting point. She tells me that I need to accept myself as I am and then set my goals, and not to set myself impossible standards I must attain in order to consider myself good enough. She’s probably right. All right, she is right. I’m a perfectionist - well, these days a lazy perfectionist. Once upon a time, I would stress out if I left anything incomplete or imperfect, and would make every effort to finish what I started to the best of my ability (which, of course, was never quite good enough). These days, if I even bother starting anything, I’ll often quit part way, and then I’ll simply torture myself with guilt, rather than try harder.

Anyway, today she gave me “homework”. Each day, until our next appointment, I am to find my own space and time, just for me, with the simple task of telling myself that I am OK - me - just the way I am.

Then she hugged me.

I’ve been hearing Billy singing to me ever since…

and it looks like I’ll have to start my homework tomorrow (oops, behind already!)